Anxiety & Trepidation – Yoga Midterm is here Part 2
MORNING:
The day is actually here – one month and a day since I started this crazy journey to get my 200-hour yoga teaching certification. I have gone from excitement, to fear, to seriously WHY am I doing this? I have made promises to you and myself to post 2x daily during training and once a week btw. – well THAT didn’t happen! I literally have tons of drafts saved to finish up, post and share with you. All sharing my journey and perhaps giving you some insight on health, wellness and laughter. As I read my daily peace this morning my mind becomes a bit more clear
“Forgiveness is not an occasional act; it is a constant attitude” – Martin Luther King
Yes – life got busy with end of school year activities, volunteering, work, being a mother and wife plus practicing yoga daily, sometimes 2 or 3 times in one day and studying away. As I sit here about to practice one last time before it is time to head out, I set my mind on forgiveness. Mostly I am forgiving myself for not being perfect – because no one is.
With that in mind, I spend the next hour talking out loud, to an empty mat, rarely looking at my flashcards, teaching my imaginary class. As my voice vibrates throughout the house, I am sure my family thinks I am nuts or perhaps they are proud of me? For dedicating myself and time to me. To do something that was a thought in my head almost ten years ago. Finding the time to fulfill a dream no matter how tiresome it may get. All the while bettering my health and finding strength when I didn’t think I had any left. As I wrap up my imaginary class, I feel as prepared as I can, feeling confident AND knowing I am really good winging it!
AFTERNOON:
As I park my car I know I am ready. I walk in and there is a level of excitement that fills the air. We all go around hugging and sharing stories, it seems we haven’t all been together for ages, even though it was only a short 10 days ago. It is all rather emotional and exciting at the same time. Surrounded by these amazing people fills me with peace and I am no longer fearful, I am excited to teach. This calling has been coming to me for a while and now it is time to step up to the mat, so to speak.
Linda goes around and says hello and we jump right into it. BAM – the clock is on and I have 60 minutes to teach my class. I feel no fear and find a calmness in my voice and confidence in my ability to teach. I spend the next hour taking Ashley from a slow calmness to a fast paced flow, to shaky legs and arms, holding poses for 5 breathes (later she claims it was more like 8 breathes as she drips in sweat). As I bring Ashley into Savasana and calm the breath, pulling her focus back inward – a sense of pride fills me. I know it was not a perfect class, I am positive I made some shit up, and winged it a bit. But I DID IT! No looking at the flashcards, just following my gut and flowing through a yoga dance.
Linda gave us her constructive criticism which for me was to learn to alter the tone of my voice, for Ashley to build her confidence – essentially we rocked it!
My yoga partner Ashley and I rocking it! Love her as she thought I was 32! #mademyday
CLOSING:
As Linda said it best – it has been a messy, sweaty, sometimes uncomfortable 100 hours but the reward was huger then any of the stickiness. As we all sat in a circle, looking to the right around to each person ending at the person to your left – we all knew a bond was built and friendships had grown quickly.
I look forward to taking the summer off to practice yoga, perfect my teaching, (knowing it will never be perfect) traveling, spending some much needed time with my family and blogging my experiences with you! STAY TUNED AND CHECK OUT MY BLOG WEEKLY!
#Namaste #yogarocks #I am proud of me #Its just the beginning
NOTE* I know I am not winning an award but as this first 100 hours comes to a close, I would like say a very special thank you to many girlfriends, Victoria, Jodi, Katt, Jennifer & Kristen for letting me practice teach them and for talking me through my fears. Candy - my fellow spiritual friend for being there to jump in and take care of Hailey (amongst so much more that you do for me and our family) Stacey my neighbor - Hailey's "other family", all my yoga peers, Ashley my yoga partner for logging in numerous hours with me. Last but not least to Brian for allowing me the space and time to follow this journey (and gifting it to me!) I love you all! Xoxo