As we roll up our mats...
Have you ever noticed the precision (or lack thereof if running late) of rolling out your mat and rolling it back up? When rolling it out, do you want it to be perfectly straight with the lines of the wood floor? When rolling it up are there no wrinkles and rolled as tight as possible?
As I rolled up my mat at the end of my fellow yogi trainees class my eyes filled with tears. I rolled it up very slowly and with much thought. I was filled with so much emotion, for her - teaching an amazing class, and the end of this chapter of this crazy yoga journey I am on. I went back and read through all my blog posts, feeling them, reliving them - I had such high standards to write and share so much more...
I know, I know - I haven't shared how my first class teaching went. It seems like it was an eternity ago but it was only a short two weeks ago, I think I didn't want to share it yet b/c it would be ending this chapter. Well - the anxiety was at a crazy high the hour before, like seriously high, like I was going to not actually be able to physically do this. Then I looked out at all the beautiful smiling faces of people sitting before me - it all dissipated. As soon as my mouth began talking it just flowed - ironic or not - as it was a flow class. Then my music started and it just felt right, this was what I was supposed to be doing. I had notecards in my hand but I never looked at them. I walked throughout the class weaving between everyone’s mat, teaching my sequence, encouraging them to push themselves and also allowing them the opportunity to back off. My music was on key and inspiring people just when they wanted to give up. I know as the music got stronger, my voice got stronger, I jumped on my mat a few times and did it with them, especially abs, and they responded “yes you better!” That felt good. I think I made some jokes, I am not very funny so maybe no one got them...the rest I honestly don't remember...
Getting on my mat and doing abs with them
I remember feeling elated, feeling strong, feeling truly happy. I remember the end - sitting crossed legged on my mat, eyes closed saying Namaste and hearing Namaste returned to me by a full studio and hearing clapping. I opened my eyes to a studio of sweaty smiling yoga students. It was over - I didn't want it to be over - I want to teach another class immediately, like right now.
The high lasted a long time, I might still be riding it. My class was not perfection. I skipped a side, there were mistakes but it was good, I mean good. I am proud of myself. I don't think I have ever said that aloud. I am proud of myself. I was always looking for someone to say it to me, I am not vain by saying it to myself. This is a huge accomplishment - I did it and I killed it!
I am excited to have met all the wonderful people going through this training with me. I proud of all of you too. Many of you, we have started lasting friendships, Ashley, Helena, Stephanie, Michelle, Maddy, Margaret, Lorrie, some friendships got deep fast – Hillary. Nope you are not getting rid of me – especially since I volunteered to plan our certificate ceremony! #partyplanner
So what now? Am I rolling up this mat and ending this journey? HELL NO - I am unrolling my mat and starting the next chapter, what that is I am not sure. I know this blog has helped me and I hope inspired other people. So, I am going to continue to write and share as I progress to my 500 hour certificate. I hope to share more about my personal life, food, fitness and failures but today it is a success!
A few pictures of my fellow yogis that I love! Xoxo
Some people requested my playlist – so here it is.
